Star Trek: Diana's Story
by Kehlan
Summary: A new counsellor comes on board the USS Enterprise and must choose between the two very different men who love her.
1. Chapter 1

Just a few quick words of explanation. This story is told from the point of view of Christa Martinez, one of the main characters from Star Trek Dominion – for those who haven't read that story, all you really need to know is that she is a child of the 20th century displaced in time and now living with her Klingon husband and her children on board the USSEnterprise.

When she meets the new ships' counsellor, Diana Vargas - Diana is Spanish by the way, her name is pronounced Dee-anna rather than the English or American Di-ana - the two become good friends. The following account is taken from her journals. S'ian's name by the way, is not the Irish 'Shan' but 'See-ann'

I will add that it is an OLD story. I wrote it just over 15 years ago as a gift for a friend after a late night girlie session of slightly drunken story telling so please don't expect it to fit in completely with today's trek canon.

**USS Enterprise, 2369**

I had been on board the Enterprise for several months when I first met Diana Vargas. She beamed on board to replace my oldest friend and last connection to 20th century Earth – Sarah Marsden had been ordered to DS-9 and while unhappy about the appointment, had decided to accept it. And so, Diana became the ship's recreation officer and second counsellor and soon, a very good friend. This is her story.

Captain Jean Luc Picard was sitting in his ready room preparing a report for the admiral at Starbase 22 when his doorbell chimed. "Enter!" he said, barely glancing up as the doors opened and Deanna Troi came in, obviously in a bad mood.

"Captain" she said without preamble, "This can't go on. The Enterprise needs more than one counsellor – there are more than a thousand people on board and since Counsellor Marsden left us…"

"I know, you're overworked, tired and you've had enough" Picard said.

"Exactly!" Deanna answered, "There are just too many people coming for counselling and I can't give them the attention they deserve. The crew's wellbeing is going to suffer if this continues."

"So, what do you want me to do?" Picard asked, smiling slightly.

"I want you to employ another psychologist."

Picard's smile became broader, "As it happens, I was speaking to the admiral yesterday. We have a new crew member coming aboard as recreation officer. Among other things she has a degree in psychology, which qualifies her to work as your assistant until Counsellor Marsden returns. It's been obvious for a while that you need an assistant, I just wondered how long it would take you to ask."

"Oh, you…" Deanna laughed, "What's her name?"

"Now that's where life gets interesting, "Picard said, "Her name is Lt Vargas – Diana Vargas. – it's spelt differently of course, but…"

She nodded, "But it sounds the same. It's a Spanish name, isn't it?"

"Hmm, I suppose so, "Picard said, "But according to her records, she's half Terran, a quarter Andorian and a quarter Betazoid. That's quite a mixture, so she should fit in well here."

Diana Vargas came on board the Enterprise the following afternoon and Deanna Troi was there to meet her. As the new counsellor materialised, Deanna saw the large brown eyes that were so typical of Betazoid women, and small antennae. Other than that, her appearance was totally human.

"Welcome to the Enterprise" Deanna said, "I am Counsellor Deanna Troi, and I am very pleased to meet you."

Diana smiled back, a little shyly, "Thank you."

"Come, I'll show you to your quarters, "Deanna said, "and then if you'd like, I can either leave you there to get unpacked and rest a little, or we can have a tour of the ship."

"I'd love to see the ship." Deanna answered eagerly, "I've heard so much about the Enterprise and its crew."

A little later, Diana and Deanna arrived in Ten Forward, where several of the command officers were gathered, enjoying a few drinks together. The two women moved to join them.

Deanna introduced everyone, "Diana, this is Worf, the security chief; Will, the first officer; Data, the second officer; Krang is the deputy security chief; and of course, S'ian, who's our science officer." The officers all stood and shook hands with the newcomer, even to her surprise, the Vulcan S'ian. Quickly she shielded her mind before touching his hand. A flicker of surprise crossed the Vulcan's face as he had expected to find a typically chaotic human mind.

"You have shields" he commented, still holding her hand.

Diana nodded and thought to him, *I'm part Betazoid.*

*Of course* came the answer in her mind, *You are very well disciplined.*

It is possible that the mental conversation would have continued but it was interrupted by Will's voice, speaking to her aloud and breaking Diana's concentration. In confusion she released S'ian's hand, saying, "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said.

"You were miles away." Will said, amused, "I asked if you wanted a drink."

"Oh, er…" she thought for a moment, "Mineral water please, from Andor if you have it."

Guinan bustled over to take the order and introduce herself. Then, "Okay, one mineral water. The usual for everyone else?" She returned a few moments later with a tray of drinks and started handing them out. "One mineral water for Diana; chocolate liqueur for Deanna; Worf, your prune juice; Krang, warnog; Will, Romulan ale; and S'ian, your apple juice."

Worf looked thoughtful as he sipped his prune juice, "Diana, do you…" He stopped as both Diana and Deanna looked at him expectantly, "Oh, this is going to be interesting, with two Deannas" he said.

The other Klingon, Krang, laughed, "Not only that but they're both counsellors. At least on duty there will be no difficulty – Lt Cmdr Troi and Lt Vargas"

Deanna nodded, "and on our own time it doesn't matter very much. It is funny though – the same name, same job and we're both part Betazoid."

Worf glanced at Diana, appraising the little antennae on her head. "You have Andorian blood as well?"

Diana nodded absently, her attention taken by the prune juice the Klingon was drinking. "Hmm. You really, actually like prune juice?" she asked, intrigued.

Worf's answer was interrupted by the red alert siren. Immediately the offices got up and headed towards the turbolift. "Come on" Deanna said to Diana, "It's only a drill, but you might as well start work now." And the two women joined the men on their way to the bridge.

It was several days before I got to meet Deanna's new colleague – I had heard about her from my husband of course. From what I could gather, he was highly amused that she was the only one ever to comment on Worf's prune juice. Well, Krang always did have a strange sense of humour.

I finally met Diana when my eight year old son, Toni almost knocked her over as he was running down the corridor, chased by his younger sister. The boy cannoned into the new officer and then picked himself up to start running, only to be arrested by my angry voice. "Antonio, come back here and apologise to the counsellor at once."

He pulled a face and backed away, "I don't want to."

I shrugged, knowing how to handle my son's moods. "Fine, then you can discuss it with your father."

"Okay, okay!" he muttered sulkily, a scared look crossing his face. "I'm sorry, Counsellor."

Diana nodded, "_No importa pero ten cuidado, niño_." And then, realising that she hadn't spoken Standard, she began to repeat herself in English.

But the boy answered, "_Lo siento mucho_." And then he was gone, quickly before I could object or call him back.

I sighed to myself and then said, "I must apologise for my son, he's a little wild. It comes of living with a Klingon I suppose."

Diana smiled, "No, honestly, he's not a bad child. Now, you obviously know who I am, but may I ask your name?"

"My name's Christa" I answered, "but most people call me Chrissie. Look, if you're not on duty right now, why don't you join me for a coffee and a chat?" I found myself liking Diana immediately and was glad when she accepted my invitation. Before long, as we sat together in my quarters, with a glass of Spanish wine, it was as though we had known each other for ever.

Amazingly we had come from the same part of Earth, although three hundred years apart. It appeared that some things hadn't changed – Goya's paintings still hung in the Prado, the Irish pub was still open, although the royal palace was now a museum.

Our conversation was interrupted by my baby daughter waking up and starting to cry. Since Diana was nearest, she lifted the child from her cot, saying "Her nappy needs changing. Where do you keep them?"

"They're underneath the cot" came my husband's voice from the doorway, as he entered the room and strode across to where Diana stood, taking the baby from her. Kara gave a gurgle of delight as she beheld her father's face.

"I will sort her out" Krang said, "You two girls go back to your conversation."

Smiling, we did so, leaving the Klingon to get on with the dirty job.

On the bridge, Captain Picard received a message from Starfleet with new orders for the Enterprise. We were to go directly to Vulcan and pick up a group of Vulcan scientists and archaeologists. A new planet had been discovered, with remnants of an apparently highly advanced civilisation, showing signs of spaceflight capability. The reports showed that the planet was class M, with gravity a little lower than Earth's but with slightly more oxygen in the atmosphere. Preliminary tests indicated that it had been abandoned for around five thousand years.

We arrived at Vulcan after five days of travel at Warp six and the visitors were on board within the hour. Very soon the ship was under way again and preparations were being made for the mission. Equipment was checked over, plans made and the people chosen for the away team (for some of our own people were to collaborate with the Vulcans) were sent to sickbay for general inoculations.

Both S'ian and I were to be part of the team and I learned later that Diana was also to beam down with us. S'ian and I had been working together for some time – he had learned to tolerate my human 'fallibilities' as I had learned to accept his logic and apparent lack of emotions. It was also S'ian who had been in charge of my education, bringing my knowledge up to 24th century standards. We made a good team, but just recently I was finding him hard to work with. He seemed to be very impatient with me, leaving me with the feeling that I couldn't do anything right.

At the moment, he was trying to teach me to play three dimensional chess, a game for which I had absolutely no aptitude. As the Vulcan contemplated the move I had just made, the door swished open, to admit my friend, Diana, just in time to hear S'ian say "Are you sure you want to do that?"

As Diana came and stood at my side, I looked again at the position of my pieces before answering, "It's probably a stupid move, but I can't see anything better."

The Vulcan sighed, and then looked up at Diana, and I could swear he almost smiled. Then without saying anything he lifted his queen and moved it. I laughed ruefully, suddenly realising, too late, what he was doing. "Oh no… of course!" and I tipped up my king and resigned the game. Before the Vulcan could begin to lecture me on my mistakes I got up, saying, "Diana, why don't you have a game with S'ian?" And I disappeared out of the door, leaving her alone in the lab with S'ian.


	2. Chapter 2

Finally, after several days travel, the Enterprise had taken up standard orbit around the strange planet, Gamma Meridian III, as it had been named. The away team, consisting of the Vulcan scientists, as well as S'ian, Worf, Diana, two xeno-archaeologists and myself, were all gathered in the transporter room waiting to beam down. My husband had not been happy about my being part of the team when he was not there to protect me. But overprotective as Krang was, even he had to admit that not much could go wrong on an archaeological dig.

We materialised just outside the ruins of a village. Actually, they weren't really ruins – all the buildings were still intact. We moved into the streets, carrying out a preliminary tricorder analysis. The data gathered was strange and seemed to be conflicting. Eventually, T'lera, the Vulcan woman who was in command, decided we should split up into pairs and then later share our discoveries. Diana went with Worf and I was sent with S'ian to investigate the big building on the other side of the village.

The door of the building opened easily and we entered. It was dark inside and I moved cautiously, but I was unable to avoid bumping into what appeared to be a table. With a crash it collapsed and there was a sound of breaking glass as a cloud of dust rose into the air, making me choke. At that moment the lights came on as S'ian found and activated the power source, amazingly still active after so long a time. As I stood blinking in the unexpected light, the Vulcan rounded on me, a look of real anger on his face. "I should have known - just another careless, illogical human woman," he shouted at me, "Look what you've done." He took a step towards me and suddenly frightened, I ran.

As I rounded a corner I ran straight into Worf. The Klingon steadied me, as Diana, sensing my troubled emotions, asked me what was wrong. As I explained what had happened, Diana frowned, saying "Something's wrong. Maybe S'ian should go back to the Enterprise."

"I agree" Worf said, hitting his combadge, "Worf to Enterprise." There was no reply, just a static crackling noise. "Worf to Enterprise" he tried again. Then, "Worf to T'lera." More static. "Obviously communications are down. We should find the rest of the team."

By the time we found the rest of the group, not only were the communicators non-functional, but our tricorders had stopped working as well.

On board the Enterprise, Riker looked up from his post. "Captain, we have lost contact with the away team.

Picard frowned, then turned to Deanna Troi, "Can you sense them?"

Troi concentrated for a moment, then said "They are fine, Captain. There is a general feeling of anxiety but no more."

Picard nodded, "Thank you Counsellor." But his relief was not to last long. Data was at the Science console as usual, when he said, "Captain, sensors are picking up a massive increase in ionic activity and solar wind has increased by three hundred percent. Sir, if this continues our shields will not hold. I recommend that we recover the away team and retreat to a safe distance."

"Very well" Picard said. Then, tapping his combadge, "Picard to O'Brien, beam the away team back immediately."

There was a pause as O'Brien worked the transporter controls, and then the answer came back, "Unable to lock on, sir. Ionic activity is too great, the transporters are non-functional."

"Sir" Data said, "There is a large shielded underground shelter not far from the away team. There is no reason for them to be in any danger while they wait out the storm."

Picard acknowledged Data's comment. "Then it seems we must abandon the away team for now." He avoided looking at the Klingon stationed at tactical. "Helm, set a course to a safe distance from the storm."

"Course laid in, sir" came the ensign's voice.

Picard raised a hand. "Make it so."

Down on the planet, an unnatural darkness had fallen, illuminated by streaks of colour flashing through the atmosphere. Strong winds began to gust and T'lera, concerned for the safety of the group, decided we should head for shelter - a reinforced underground cave system had been found earlier, perhaps designed for shelter from these storms - and we hurried towards it.

"What about S'ian?" Diana asked, "We can't just leave him."

One of the Vulcans said, "I will go and find him." And he turned and moved away from the group. He was not gone long - S'ian too had seen the danger and was already on his way back to the group. He seemed fully under control now, calm and emotionless as always.

We entered the warren as it came to be called, for that was indeed what it resembled - a huge maze-like rabbit warren. The door to the caves shut with a clang and as it shut, the walls lit up with a bright phosphorescent glow that lit our way and then faded back into darkness behind us.

"Fascinating!" T'lera said to S'ian, who was by her side, "A heat or maybe motion sensitive mechanism."

"Indeed" S'ian commented, "And one that is still functional after five thousand years of disuse." They fell into a discussion of the possible mechanics of the system and the level of technology of the people who had built it.

After walking for a while through endless twisting tunnels, we arrived in a large cave, comfortably furnished and remarkably free of dust. I laughed slightly to hide my unease. "I hope the ghosts won't mind us staying here."

One of the Vulcans turned to me, saying "If there were indeed ghosts here, it would be illogical for them to object to our presence. These caves were obviously built to give shelter from the storms. Why would anyone object to them being used for this purpose?"

Diana smiled, "Not everyone is as logical as Vulcans, especially not ghosts."

As we opened our emergency rations, S'ian came over to us and sat down beside Diana. After eating only a little I began to doze, lulled by the sound of quiet voices. I was awakened by the sound of shouting. S'ian was yelling at Diana in Vulcan. Her face white and shocked, she was trying to calm him down but he would not be calmed. Eventually, as his temper threatened to spin out of control into violence, Worf intervened, catching hold of the Vulcan and pulling him away from Diana. S'ian shrugged away from the Klingon's grip with almost frightening ease and stormed out of the cave disappearing into the maze of passages.

I got up, wondering if I should go after him, but T'lera put her hand on my shoulder to stop me. "Leave him, Christa, you can't help him." she said gravely, "He needs to be alone now."

Unhappily, I returned to my seat. Outside, the storm continued to rage, and eventually we all slept.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning we woke to find that S'ian still had not returned - instead he had totally vanished. Diana, forcing down her unruly Andorian hormones, opened her mind, searching for his presence. But assaulted by the pain and fear that S'ian felt, she was forced to erect mental barriers and block out the emotions rampaging through him. But she know one thing: he was not very far away and he needed help. Diana went to T'lera, "He needs help" she said, I can find him."

T'lera shook her head, a fleeting shadow of sadness on he face, and gently took Diana aside to a place a little more private. "Let him go, Diana" she said quietly, "He does not want to be found. If he could fight it, he would have returned by now. Allow him to die alone, his dignity intact."

Diana shivered, "How can I when I share his pain? I'm empathic, I don't want to feel him dying in agony!"

"You have no choice" T'lera said, the sorrow now more apparent. "I cannot help him - I am bonded and there is no other Vulcan female present."

"I think I understand" Diana said, "But must it be a Vulcan female? Surely I can help."

"You don't know what you are suggesting" T'lera said sharply, "but it is your choice - I cannot stop you from doing this."

"I have to do this" Diana said, "Thank you for explaining it to me T'lera." And she turned and walked into the tunnel system, opening her mind just enough to sense S'ian's whereabouts.

After walking for about 20 minutes and making several wrong turns, Diana eventually found S'ian. He was crouching in a corner of a small chamber, his face white and drawn, his body trembling. He looked up as she entered, his eyes wild. "You should not have followed me" he gasped, "Please… go! Leave me alone!"

"I know what's wrong, S'ian" she said with a calmness that she did not feel, "You're not going to die, I won't let you! T'lera told me that any unbonded woman can help you, that's why I'm here."

Slowly S'ian stood up and approached her. "You don't understand" he said unsteadily, his hands reaching out for the contact points on her face. Diana flinched slightly as contact was made and his turbulent emotions spilled over into her mind. But she did not pull back as he began to murmur the ancient words. "My mind to your mind. My thoughts to your thoughts…" He continued, taking the meld deeper and deeper until her mind was totally immersed in his and his mind in hers, the bond deeply established between them.

The bond with Diana seemed to give S'ian a measure of control and he pulled back slightly, never breaking the contact, and looked at her. "What you have done is not logical" he accused her.

Diana smiled, "I have two answers to that" she said, "The first being that of course it's logical to save your life. Secondly, I'm a mixture of Human, Betazoid and Andorian. That's not a mixture that leads to an excess of logic. And anyway, you know how I feel about you."

The Vulcan acknowledged her answer with a nod, but said only, "Time is very short now, the _plak tow_ is almost upon me. Soon we must mate."

Diana gazed at him, feeling the truth of his words through the bond they shared. "I hope so!" she said and reaching up, she kissed him.

Some hours after Diana left us the storm began to fade and it was not long before it was safe for us to return to the outside world. Worf of course, was not happy about leaving behind two members of the away team, but T'lera insisted. "They will return when they are ready, Worf" she told him, "They must not be disturbed."

Worf growled under his breath, but agreed. On arriving at the entrance to the warren Worf hit his combadge "Worf to Enterprise." There was absolute silence, the static had gone but there was still no reply.

On experimenting, it became obvious that the combadges were functioning correctly - they were able to contact each other, but not the Enterprise. One of the Vulcans correctly inferred the reason, "The odds are high that the Enterprise was forced to withdraw to avoid the worst effects of the storm."

"Indeed" T'lera said, "Then we may assume that the ship will contact us when it returns. In the meantime, we should finish our work here." And she began to give instructions to the team.

Diana and S'ian reappeared the following morning. The Vulcan was his usual calm logical self although they both looked tired. Only minutes after their return, Worf's combadge bleeped. He touched it, "Worf here."

The voice that came over the combadge was Riker's, "Worf, are you all okay down there? We've been trying to contact you for hours."

"Affirmative, sir" Worf said, glancing at S'ian, "We were able to find shelter from the storm." He said nothing of S'ian's disappearance. By unspoken agreement, no-one on the team

would ever speak of what had happened.

"Good" Riker said, "The captain wants the whole group to beam up immediately. Another storm is forming – we must leave the area."

Hearing this, T'lera nodded. "It is probable that the frequency and intensity of the storms are what caused this world to be abandoned. The people would have had to spend much of their time in the underground shelters." She glanced around the group and then said, "Prepare to beam up."


	4. Chapter 4

In her room on board the Enterprise, Diana looked up from the report she was preparing as she sensed S'ian approaching. There was still much that she did not understand - images of people she did not know, memories that were not hers, thoughts, encounters, conversations that had nothing to do with her past. One image in particular stood out from all the others - a Vulcan girl, young, maybe 18 years old with glossy raven black hair down to her waist. Diana wondered who the girl was - not a previous lover, that much was obvious from the emotions connected with the image. S'ian entered the room and walking across to her, raised two fingers to hers. *She is my daughter* came the thought, *Her name is T'prina and she is currently studying at the Vulcan Science Academy.*

Diana frowned, *And her mother?*

For a moment S'ian did not answer, then *She is dead. There was an accident just over six years ago, a few days after my last _Pon Farr_ and she did not survive.*

For the first time Diana spoke aloud, "I'm sorry."

S'ian nodded. "What I really came here for is to discuss our situation" he said gravely. "I do not expect you to remain bonded to me. Therefore we must disembark at Vulcan." Seeing her confusion, he added, "Only the High Master of Gol can break a mating bond."

"As you wish" Diana said, letting go of his hand and ruthlessly clamping down on her emotions so that he would not sense them. "You must do what you think is logical."

After he left her alone, Diana sat down, stunned. Why hadn't it occurred to her that he would want his freedom afterwards? She had had this idea that somehow everything would work out, he would discover he was madly in love with her and they would be happy ever after. But she knew it wasn't going to be that way.

When we arrived at Vulcan, Diana asked me if I would beam down with her. I agreed immediately - I was worried about her - she had said almost nothing about what had happened and the happiness that had been apparent in her on her return from the cave, had long since vanished. She was quiet and withdrawn. The reason of course, was obvious - she was trying to suppress her feelings for S'ian because she did not want to burden him with an unwanted love, especially since their bond was about to be broken by the High Master of Gol.

Before beaming down, Beverly injected us with a tri-ox compound, which would help us breathe the thinner air of Vulcan. She also advised us to dress for a desert environment. I was glad she warned us. When we materialised, I was hit by a heat so intense that the air shimmered and every breath seemed like fire in my lungs. And we still had to climb the path up to MountSeleya, it being forbidden to beam there directly.

When we reached our destination, a sort of natural amphitheatre surrounded by a jagged outcropping of rock, we were both hot and breathless. S'ian was already there, waiting for us, a young woman at his side, who Diana told me was his daughter.

A gong sounded and the High Master, an elderly woman named T'kira entered the arena, surrounded by her servants and acolytes. The gong sounded again and T'kira motioned S'ian and Diana to come forward. When they were at last standing in front of T'kira, S'ian turned to Diana and, as he had done once before, placed his fingers on the contact points on her face.

T'kira stepped closer and placed her own hands on the faces of the two people in front of her. Diana flinched as she felt the touch of the High Master's mind. This was nothing like the meld with S'ian; it was cold, impersonal and completely emotionless. Despite the intense heat she shivered.

T'kira began to speak then. She was speaking in Vulcan of course, but both Diana and I were using universal translators borrowed from the Enterprise for the occasion. "We are gathered here today to break the bond that has formed between these two people, S'ian and Diana." As she continued with the ceremonial words, Diana felt her control slipping. She tried again to shield her emotions, but her Andorian part was too strong now and her shields slipped away, exposing the two Vulcans to the full force of her emotions. A master of Kolinahr, T'kira was completely unaffected, in fact Diana could feel the sheer strength of T'kira's instantly raised shields, but locked in meld with his mate, S'ian had no such protection. T'kira was still speaking, "… and is it your will that this be done, Diana?"

She raised her eyes to T'kira, and finding strength there, slowly she nodded, unable to actually speak the word.

It was S'ian's turn to give his consent. For a moment he did not answer. Then he dropped his hand from Diana's face, saying "No! I will not break this bond. I see no logic in doing so." He looked at Diana and took both her hands in his. "I request that this bond be formalised and that the community gathered here recognise Diana Vargas as my bonded wife."

Amid the uproar that had broken out, the girl T'prina moved to her father's side. "Father, surely you can see the illogic in what you are suggesting. Don't let this human affect your judgement."

"_Kroykah!_" The High Master's voice cut through the hubbub and abruptly thee was silence. T'kira said, "This is a matter for S'ian and Diana to decide. We have heard S'ian's will, now Diana too must speak."

Diana gazed at S'ian and the girl at his side. She took a deep breath and said, a little unsteadily, "T'prina is right. It would be illogical. Our bond was not something we planned." She sighed and then continued, "I wish with all my heart and soul to remain bonded to S'ian, but I believe it is too soon to formalise it. We should get to know each other first and then make a decision."

In her mind she sensed S'ian's mental smile. *I didn't expect such logic from you, Diana" he thought, *But you are correct, we will wait.*


	5. Chapter 5

Life returned to normal on board the Enterprise. Nobody, except the people involved knew what had happened and Diana and S'ian were left in peace to build a new relationship. Diana confided in me that she had no idea why the Vulcan had made this decision - he gave no indication of loving her. Physically they had a good relationship, but emotionally? She was totally confused. There was nothing I could do to help her, of course, only listen. Neither of us realised however, just how much more complicated things would become.

Having completed its mission, the Enterprise was sent on routine patrol along the border of the Romulan Neutral Zone. About a week into the patrol, a distress call was picked up. The message, distorted by hissing and crackling, was in Romulan. Data fed the message into the Translator, skilfully filtering out the distortions, until its contents could be clearly heard and understood.

"Mayday… Mayday… To any vessel within range. This is the Romulan Warbird Tarndorr in distress. Life support is failing. Please respond….. Mayday…" The message began to repeat itself.

Picard frowned. "Number One, are there any other vessels in range of that message?"

Riker glanced at his console. "No sir. At least, not that are showing on sensors anyway. We are the only ship close enough to assist."

The captain nodded, "Helm, lay in a course for the damaged vessel, maximum speed."

Worf was incredulous. "Captain, do you really intend to help _Romulans_? He spat the word as though it were a curse.

"May I remind you Worf, that a Mayday cannot be ignored?" The Captain responded, "Even if it's Romulan. And if we can take the vessel intact, so much the better."

"Aye, sir" Worf said. He hesitated a moment, then continued, "Sir, I recommend that we proceed with caution. This reminds me very much of the Kobayashi Maru."

Krang had remained silent through the debate, but he stirred a little at this point, sending an enquiring look to his fellow Klingon. The reference to the Kobayashi Maru, was of course, understood by all the Starfleet officers present, it needed no explaining – all of them had taken the test, and failed it. Krang however, had not attended StarfleetAcademy and had never heard of the infamous test. "It means a trap" Worf muttered, in a quick aside, "I'll explain later." Krang, nodded, understanding. This was not the time for long detailed explanations.

Captain Picard said grimly, "I am well aware of the possibility of cloaked vessels out there. Go to Yellow Alert." Turning to the helmsman, he asked, "Is that course laid in yet?

"Aye, sir"

"Engage!"

As the Enterprise approached the stricken Warbird, it became obvious that the vessel had been involved in heavy fighting. Data, his fingers deftly manipulating the controls, initiated scans for damage and for life-signs. After a moment, he looked up. "Captain, there are only three life-signs on board. The battle scars are typical of those caused by Klingon disruptor fire."

Krang and Worf glanced at one another. _"Qu'vatlh!"_ Krang muttered, intending only Worf to hear him.

Worf growled in response and then said, "Captain, there are no Klingon vessels in this vicinity. There must be another explanation."

Picard nodded, "We'll find out soon enough. Now, I want you and Krang, Riker, Data, Dr Crusher and La Forge to beam over there." He smiled slightly, knowing his security officer well. "Do you think you can be trusted to bring the Romulans back alive?"

"Of course, sir" Worf said indignantly, "I will not fail."

The three surviving Romulans were found unconscious and badly injured on the bridge of the Tarndorr and Beverly had them beamed directly to sickbay, where she began treatment immediately.

The two Klingons hacked into the ship's intelligence/security network and began downloading what information was still available through the damaged systems. The records were heavily protected, but damaged as the system was, it took the two experienced security officers only moments to break through the layers of passwords protecting the files.

Geordi and Data examined the ship's engineering systems. As they tinkered with the controls, an automated Romulan voice cane over the stricken ship's intercom. "_Mak kor-sin halndal… Mak-kor_…"

Geordi glanced at Data, asking "Does that mean what I think it does?"

Data nodded, "Yes, Geordi. Warp core breach imminent. I think we should leave."

"We've got all the information we need" Riker said grimly as he rejoined the group. "Now let's get out of here."

Activating his combadge, he called for beam-up and moments later they all stood safely on the Enterprise's transporter platform. Touching his combadge again, Riker said, "Riker to Captain Picard."

Picard was at that moment in the sickbay, interrogating one of the Romulans who had just regained consciousness. He identified himself, saying, "I am Captain Jean Luc Picard of the Federation Starship Enterprise."

The Romulan answered, his voice still weak "My name is Jaaron. I am Captain of the Romulan Warbird Tarndorr." He was silent for a moment, then, "Captain, my crew - are they all right?"

"We found only two other survivors."

Jaaron looked away, distressed. "They were a good crew."

Picard nodded, momentarily in sympathy with the Romulan. "Maybe later you can tell us what happened to your ship."

It was at that moment that his combadge bleeped. As he acknowledged, Riker's voice said, "Captain, the away team is aboard and Tarndorr's warp core is about to explode."

"Get us back to Federation space" Picard snapped, "Maximum warp."


	6. Chapter 6

As the Enterprise streaked at enormous speed, back to Federation space, the Romulan captain was assigned quarters. He would be under guard at all times and was denied access to the computer, but apart from that he was treated as an honoured guest. He was also allowed to sit in on the de-briefing session in order to try to throw some light on what had happened.

Jaaron explained that his vessel had been involved in a battle with two renegade Klingon Birds of Prey that had wandered into Romulan space looking for trouble. After sustaining severe damage they managed to destroy one with a lucky shot before their weapons system went down. Then they had cloaked and escaped the other. But instead of being allowed into dock for repairs they had been sent to the Neutral Zone to patrol the border. That was when the impulse engine had exploded, leaving them helpless and adrift. Without impulse they could not engage the warp drive and in any case, the warp core had been damaged in the explosion.

Geordi stood then. "What we found in the engine room bears out this story. But the impulse engine was sabotaged, it didn't just explode." He went on to explain his findings.

"I agree, Captain" Worf said, "We gained a lot of evidence from the security network. Krang is still going through the files, but it's evident that the damage to the Tarndorr was not accidental. Someone wanted this ship destroyed, and I'd say it wasn't just the Klingons."

The Romulan went very still as he listened to the evidence. Picard asked him, "Captain Jaaron, I realise that this is a Romulan internal thing, but are you aware of any enemies who would wish you dead?"

Jaaron nodded slowly. "I am the youngest captain in the fleet and the nephew of the Praetor. Of course I have enemies." There was grief and anger in his voice as he continued, "But to kill my entire crew like that…" He lapsed into silence.

Just then the door to the observation lounge opened and Diana entered, saying, "I'm sorry to be late. I was with a patient who…"

She was unable to finish. The Romulan captain leapt to his feet, saying with a warmth in his voice that had not been there before, "Diana! After all these years, we finally meet again!"

Picard frowned, glancing from Jaaron to Diana, "You know this man?"

Diana shook her head in total confusion. "No, I've never seen him before. He must be mistaken."

"I am not mistaken" the Romulan insisted, "You are Diana Vargas. Nine years ago you were on board the transport freighter Xerxes when it was hit by an asteroid and strayed into the Empire. I was First Officer on the ship that rescued you."

"Xerxes? I was never on a ship of that name."

Deanna interrupted then, "I think we can discuss this later" she said gently, "Our most immediate concern is the Tarndorr."

Jaaron sat down again. "My apologies, Counsellor."

Diana and I were sitting at a computer console in the laboratory that I shared with S'ian. We were alone though, as S'ian had gone down to the arboretum to set up a new experiment.

"Computer, display transport records of the freighter Xerxes."

"Ship's number?" the computer queried.

I glanced at Diana and she shook her head, "I don't know."

"There are three vessels with the name Xerxes in Federation registry" the computer said, "Please specify."

With a flash of inspiration, Diana said, "Computer, which Xerxes had a collision with an asteroid nine years ago?"

"Working." The computer identified the ship and then asked "What records are required?"

"Passenger lists" Diana said, "Who was on board at the time of the collision?"

The computer displayed a long list of names and carefully I scrolled through them until I reached the letter V. And there it was. "Vargas, Diana. Boarded Earth, stardate..."

"So the Romulan was right" Diana said slowly, "I was on board the Xerxes, but why can't I remember it?"

"Maybe the trauma" I suggested, "After all, you were only eighteen at the time. Being in a space accident and then getting captured by the Romulans is a lot to cope with.

"Hmm, but he said we were rescued rather than captured" Diana said thoughtfully, "But then, he's Romulan, he would say that. Maybe I should ask S'ian if there's something I'm blocking out – he should be able to help."

"I can try" S'ian said, entering the lab carrying a rack of test tubes which he put down on a work bench before approaching Diana and touching her face. After a moment, he said, "Yes, there is a block, but it's not a natural one and it's been well hidden. Let me see if I can open it." He closed his eyes, concentrating.

As he probed the blockage, Diana felt a stabbing pain in her head, and crying out, she pulled away from him. Opening his eyes again, S'ian told her, "The blocked memories indicate that you spent two weeks in the Romulan Empire on board a Warbird while the Xerxes was being repaired. You were then released and the Xerxes was escorted back to the Neutral zone. I believe you were questioned afterwards by Federation Intelligence – they were the ones who applied the mind-block." S'ian said nothing however about the fact that there was something more – something so deeply buried that he could not unlock it. He felt uneasy. What could have happened to Diana that was so traumatic that her mind refused to acknowledge it, even with the block removed? And the old fears, the old distrust began to surface in his mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Later that same day. The Romulan went looking for Diana and eventually found her in her quarters. He wanted to know what had happened all those years ago, why she had simply left him without a word.

Diana looked at him incredulously, "I don't understand" she said, perplexed. "Apparently I was on that ship, but why should you mean anything to me?"

"You really don't remember?" he asked, then, "No, I see that you don't. We were lovers, Diana – I was your first love." He smiled a little, remembering. "I loved you so much. I still do love you." He said this last with a note of surprise in his voice, surprise at the emotions that were resurfacing after so many years.

Diana shook her head, not wanting to hear any more. "You're crazy! If I'd ever been in love with you I'd remember." And she pulled away from him, saying, "Now if you don't mind, I'm due on the bridge."

Days passed, days in which Diana became more and more confused. S'ian seemed to have withdrawn from her, becoming cold and distant, and the Romulan, Jaaron, would not leave her alone. Everywhere she went, he seemed to be there waiting for her, trying to convince her that they were meant for each other. Eventually, driven to a point of absolute exasperation, she screamed at him to leave her alone and Krang was forced to take him aside and give him a warning. "Stay away from Diana Vargas, _Romulan_" and the anger was obvious in his voice as he pronounced the word 'Romulan' like a curse, "or I will have you restrained."

When Diana returned to her quarter that evening she found a single rose lying on the floor outside her door, and a note that said simply, "I cannot apologise for loving you Diana, but I have never wanted to hurt you. I am sorry – I will leave you alone." It was signed, "Jaaron."

Troubled, Diana went to the holodeck where she programmed a reproduction of the Xerxes and the people on board at the time of the accident. As she wandered round the ship she found that she remembered it, but of Jaaron still nothing. Oh, she had met him once or twice when they had been interrogated by the Romulans but this idea he had about a romance was just pure fantasy. She remained in the programme until she felt fully comfortable about her memories, then she ended the programme and headed towards her quarters where we were due to have tea together.

She had just finished her biscuit when S'ian called her through the ship's intercom, asking her to meet him on holodeck two in an hour's time when he came off duty, saying that they had things to discuss. Diana readily agreed. Maybe she would find out now why he had been so distant with her, after all, he was the one who had wanted to formalise their bond.

Arriving at the holodeck a little early, Diana was surprised to find out that it was already occupied. She glanced at the panel display to see which programme was running and she was even more surprised to find that it was her Xerxes programme.

She entered the holodeck to find Jaaron there as she had suspected. But to her shock he was locked in a passionate embrace with a copy of herself. Absolutely furious she grabbed hold of Jaaron's arm and pulled him away from her copy. "How dare you?" she gasped, "I told you to leave me alone."

Diana should have been warned by the look of arousal in the Romulan's eyes. Before she could say any more, Jaaron pulled her close against him and lowered his head to hers.

She fought him for a moment but then all the deeply buried memories came flooding back. She was eighteen again and they had just had a romantic dinner together when he kissed her for the very first time. "Oh Jaaron, I do love you" she whispered against his lips.

"Oh Jaaron, I do love you" mocked a coldly angry voice from the doorway. Momentarily confused between past and present, Diana looked around, shocked to realise that S'ian too had turned up early for their meeting, only to find her in Jaaron's arms.

"S'ian… it's not what it looks like… what you think" she said, a little incoherently.

"It's exactly what it looks like" Jaaron snarled at the Vulcan.

The look on S'ian's face frightened Diana – outwardly calm, there was something in his eyes – and even in the deepest throes of _plak tow_ she had never seen such naked emotion, such anger, directed at her.

"Let go of her" the Vulcan said, his voice like ice, "NOW!"

Jaaron simply laughed at him, "I will not."

S'ian nodded, he had expected this. And he began to intone in old high Vulcan, "I challenge you by the ancient laws and rites of the Toriatal. _T'kevaidors a skelitus dunt'ryala aikriian paselitan_… Toriatal!"

"Toriatal?" Suddenly sobered, no longer amused by the Vulcan's behaviour, Jaaron looked from Diana to S'ian his gaze becoming cold and proud. "I am no coward. I accept your challenge. We fight in the morning."

"I choose lirpas" S'ian stated.

Jaaron nodded, "I am familiar with that weapon." And letting go of Diana, he silently left the holodeck, leaving her alone with S'ian.

The Vulcan gazed at her for a moment, totally calm now. "Tomorrow one of us will die. I hope you are happy, Diana." And then he too left the holodeck."


	8. Chapter 8

Diana returned to her quarters and remained there for several hours, until well after dinner time, thinking about what had happened. She knew now what her mind had blocked out so long ago. On board the Xerxes she had met and fallen in love with the Romulan Commander. He had been a thoughtful lover – kind, considerate, attentive, but eventually all too soon the repairs to the Xerxes were complete and they were escorted to the edge of the Neutral Zone and sent on their way. Jaaron had said goodbye to her privately, giving her a secret communications code that would put her through to his ship in the Romulan Empire. They had promised each other that they would find a way to meet again, but he warned her to be careful when she used the code, not to get caught.

Unfortunately but perhaps inevitably, she had bee caught the very first time she tried to use the code, and no-one had believed that her illegal transmissions were innocent. She had been turned over to Starfleet Intelligence and they had questioned her again and again. Finally they had accepted her innocence, but they still insisted that her lover was simply using her to gain information about the Federation. Once they had finished with her, they had altered her memories to prevent her from ever re-offending, blocking out all her memories of the incident and replacing the truth with fiction.

She didn't know that Jaaron had never forgotten her, had always wondered why she hadn't contacted him, and his dreams turned to ashes around him, he put all his force and energy into his career, determined to put the human girl who had betrayed him in the past where she belonged.

Diana realised that somehow she had to stop the fight. Surely S'ian would have calmed down by now. Resolutely she got up and went to his quarters. There was no answer but she entered anyway, the door being programmed to recognise her. She found the Vulcan wearing a ceremonial robe, kneeling on the floor, deep in meditation. She called his name. No answer, he was completely unaware of her presence. She reached out and touched him and slowly he looked up.

"What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"S'ian, please" she begged, "I don't want you to die, you know that."

He nodded, "I do not intend to die."

"Then you'll call off this stupid challenge?" she asked hopefully.

"I did not say that" he answered. "No Diana, I will not retract my challenge. Now leave me, I must meditate." And he bowed his head again, shutting her out of his mind.

She left his quarters. She hadn't really expected any other response from S'ian, although she had hoped. But surely Jaaron would be more reasonable.

But in Jaaron she encountered a stubbornness, a steely determination that had not been present before in the Jaaron she had loved.

"No Diana" he told her, "I am no coward – I will fight."

"Please Jaaron." Her voice cracked and she was unable to continue as a tear trickled down her cheek. The Romulan's gaze softened and he bent to kiss away her tears. For a moment she leaned against him, then pulled away. "Please!"

"I must fight" he said gently, "You don't understand, Diana. The Toriatal cannot be denied. I would be branded a traitor and a coward if I refuse. If I don't fight, my life will be over anyway."

She looked up, "I understand!"

"I wish I did!" he exploded suddenly, "Tomorrow I may die and I don't know the reason. Tell me Diana, why? Why has he challenged me?"

With a shock Diana recognised the truth of his words. Jaaron had no idea she was bonded to S'ian (only her closest friends knew that), that she loved the Vulcan – or thought she did, and that he had asked to have the bond formalised. Hesitantly she tried to explain, although still loyal to S'ian she made no mention of _Pon Farr_, telling the Romulan only that she had bonded with S'ian to save his life.

But Jaaron nodded, "Of course, the Vulcan mating cycle, _Pon Farr_. I see now why he loves you."

"S'ian doesn't love me" she said bitterly, "for him, love is just a word in a dictionary."

"Oh, he loves you" Jaaron insisted, "but don't expect him to ever say it." He paused for a moment and simply stood looking at her. "You'll never know how sorry I am. I never ever wanted to hurt you - you'll be better off once I'm dead."

"Don't say that" she said sharply, "I love you Jaaron."

He shook his head. "No, you love the Vulcan. No woman can love two men."

"No Human woman" she corrected, "But I'm part Andorian and Andorians have different mating habits. Yes Jaaron, I can love two men and I do! I just don't know what to do about it."

He shrugged. "Tomorrow there will be only one left." He sighed and taking her hand he raised it to his lips, kissing it. "Diana, please go now. I must prepare."

She nodded and without looking back, she left his quarters.

Diana came to my quarters then, knowing that at this hour, my Klingon husband would be with me. She was in a dreadful state, almost incoherent as she gasped out what had happened. "They're going to kill each other" she concluded, trying in vain to stop the tears that were now falling in earnest.

As I tried to calm her down, my husband remained silent. I knew what he was thinking – He understood S'ian's actions and sympathised with them. But Krang had been bred to fight. Once before (it seemed a long time ago now) my husband, believing us separated for good, had picked a fight with another Klingon, a fight he had not intended to survive until he realised I had returned to him. But S'ian was not Klingon, war and death were not part of his culture, had not been for thousands of years. What had caused a Vulcan to react in such a way?

Finally Krang spoke. "This fight will be stopped, I promise you." And he headed towards the door, saying, "I must inform the captain of this."


	9. Chapter 9

Captain Picard was understandably furious when Krang and Worf came to him with the story. (Krang had of course spoken with the security chief first). Immediately the captain summoned both the Vulcan and the Romulan to his ready room, despite the fact it was now the middle of the ship's night.

"I will not tolerate this ship being used for such a purpose. The Enterprise is not a battleground and there will be no killing on board her" he said sternly, looking from one to the other. "Now do you understand or must I throw you both in the brig?"

"That will not be necessary, Captain" S'ian said stiffly.

"Commander Jaaron?"

"I understand, Captain" he said, glancing at the Vulcan. "We will not fight here. It shall be as you wish."

"Very well" Picard said, not at all reassured. "Dismissed." As they left, Picard turned to the two Klingons. "Have them watched."

As Jaaron and S'ian walked together down the darkened corridors, S'ian turned to the Romulan. "We are presently very close to Rigel VI. If you agree I can obtain a shuttle to take us there. Captain Picard has no jurisdiction there."

The Toriatal hung in the air between them, almost tangible in its malignant influence and promise of death still to come.

Jaaron answered only, "I will be ready and waiting."

S'ian nodded. "Good. I will come for you at 06:00 hours tomorrow morning."

At five minutes to six the following morning, S'ian left his quarters. The security guard on duty intercepted him, demanding to know where he was going but S'ian simply put a hand on the man's shoulder, his fingers finding and digging into the nerve there and the guard sank to the ground unconscious. At exactly 06:00 he arrived at Jaaron's quarters and disposed of the guard there in a similar manner.

S'ian spoke coldly to the Romulan. "We will not need the shuttle, we are now close enough to transport there directly. The captain seems to have made a slight course change."

The transporter room was deserted. By sheer luck the ensign on duty had slipped away to answer a call of nature. It took only a moment for the experienced scientist to programme the controls with the desired coordinates and then join his enemy on the transporter pad. The transporter energised and they were caught in the beam, their molecules scrambling, to reform on the surface of the planet below.

Diana was awakened by a strange feeling of unease that pervaded her dreams, causing her to toss and turn, increasingly disturbed until she sat up suddenly, the fear awakening her. But as she woke the feeling intensified. She got up and wandered about her quarters, trying to understand the sense of foreboding. And then she realised. She could no longer sense S'ian's presence nearby.

Quickly, trying not to panic, she pulled on some clothes and went running down the corridor to his quarters. They were empty and an unconscious security guard lay by the door. She found exactly the same at Jaaron's quarters.

Really worried now, she said, "Computer, where are S'ian and Jaaron?"

The answer came back immediately, "S'ian and Jaaron are no longer on board the Enterprise. They beamed down to Rigel VI at 06:00 hours."

Diana glanced at her watch. 06:30. Anything cold have happened by now. She knew for certain that S'ian was still alive – the bond told her that, but she had no such knowledge of the Romulan. Frantically she hit her combadge. "Diana to Krang."

After a moment the Klingon answered, his voice blurred by sleep. "Krang here. What's wrong Diana?"

"They're gone. They've beamed down" she told him urgently.

Krang really woke up then. "I'm on the way" he said, "Meet me in the transporter room in three minutes."

Once at the transporter room, the big Klingon checked the last set of coordinates on the console, despite the now frightened ensign's denial that it had been used. Ignoring the ensign, Krang took out his phaser and joined Diana on the transporter pad.

The planet below was hot and dusty, its sun a burning white colour in the cloudless blue sky. Krang glanced around. They were in a rocky barren region that appeared to be deserted. He listened carefully, his hunter's instincts aroused, but there was nothing, only the calls of the huge, vulture-like birds wheeling lazily overhead. Then his patience was rewarded by a faint sound, like a clashing of weapons. "Over there" he said, pointing.

"I didn't hear anything" Diana said, her own emotions far too confused and turbulent for her Betazoid empathy to give her any help.

"Of course not, you're a Human, more or less" he retorted, "Now come on, follow me."

They began to run in the direction Krang had pointed out and as they turned around a large, rocky outcropping, they found their quarry, very close.

A large square had been marked out and within its boundaries, the two combatants were locked together in conflict. Diana watched in horror as Jaaron twisted the lirpa in his hands and feinted at S'ian. The Vulcan struck back and then as he was half turned away by the momentum of his counter-attack, the Romulan, seeing his opportunity began to strike. Diana suddenly shrieked "No!" and dashing forward, she grabbed hold of Jaaron's arm, forcing him off balance. But the Vulcan had completed his turn and was already striking back. As Diana's action carried her straight into the weapon's trajectory, S'ian, seeing her too late, could do nothing to prevent the blunt heavy end of the lirpa from catching her across the back of her head. Without a sound, she crumpled to the rocky ground.

The two enemies simply stared at her for a moment in shock and then both simultaneously bent to her side.

"She still lives" S'ian said, the battle rage beginning to leave him.

"No thanks to you" the Romulan snarled, lunging for the Vulcan. "You almost killed her…" His words faded as he slumped unconscious across Diana's body.

The Klingon fired his phaser a second time and the Vulcan too collapsed. Krang put his phaser away and touching his combadge, said "Krang to Enterprise. Four to beam up. Medical emergency."

Seconds later they were back on board the Enterprise and Dr Crusher was rushing Diana to sickbay. "As for these two" Krang said, a note of disgust in his voice, "Put them in the brig ." He turned away and headed towards the bridge to make his report.


	10. Chapter 10

Diana was kept in sickbay overnight but apart from a nasty bump on her head and a little concussion, she was unharmed. It was very lucky that she had been hit by the blunt end of the lirpa, its sharp end would have killed her. When Beverly finally released her she went straight to the brig where the Vulcan and Romulan were being held. She approached S'ian's cell as closely as she could, aware of the powerful forcefield separating them.

The Vulcan had sensed her approach and stood waiting for her. For a moment they stood looking at one another, then S'ian said simply "I almost killed you yesterday. I ask forgiveness."

Diana remained silent, knowing from their bond that there was more , something more that he needed to say.

And then he spoke again. "I should have listened to you, given you a chance to explain. My actions were illogical."

She nodded, wanting to reach out and touch him but was prevented by the forcefield from doing so. Instead she said quietly "I can forgive you for almost killing me, but for not trusting me? I don't know, S'ian. I understand why, but…" she could not finish and turned away, unable to look more at those deep, compelling eyes. Unable to face speaking to Jaaron as well, she turned and ran from the secure area.

She knew she had a very difficult decision to make. Did she love S'ian or was it just a strong attraction? And if she chose him, could she live with a man who would never admit to having any feelings for her? And Jaaron – was her love for him real or simply the result of reawakened memories? She had loved him nine years ago but she was no longer eighteen. And would Jaaron want to live in the Federation? Was there any future for them together? All this she had to consider and she was aware that she could not put off the decision forever.

In his cell, Jaaron was also thinking about these questions. He would not allow himself to even think about losing Diana to the Vulcan. He knew that she would not want to leave the Federation and anyway, there was no way she could live in the Romulan Star Empire. It became more and more obvious that if there was to be any future for them, then he would have to remain in the Federation.

S'ian too was thinking about Diana. He knew that if he was to win her back he had to tell her the truth about himself, a truth he had buried so deeply and for so long, that despite their bond she had absolutely no idea of its existence. A truth so deeply buried, so painful that he did not want to admit its existence, even to himself. Even his daughter did not know that he was not her natural father. Her mother T'par had lost her lover to whom she had secretly bonded against her family's wishes, only to discover that she was pregnant. S'ian, who was one of her closest friends, had married her to protect her and the unborn child. But even his mate, whom he had come to love, and the child he had brought up as his own, had never known the full truth about him. And now, how could he speak of this matter to Diana? Could he face it. The answer, he knew painfully, was "no".

After a couple of days, S'ian and Jaaron were released from the brig although both were confined to quarters and security guards were left to ensure the order was obeyed. This time though, the guards were prepared and would not be taken by surprised.

Jaaron was summoned to Captain Picard's ready room in order to discuss his future. He was escorted there by his guards who on arrival took up station outside the ready room door where they would wait until needed.

The captain was making arrangements to have the Romulans returned to their home on the other side of the Neutral Zone. But Jaaron's words surprised the captain. "I do not wish to return to the Romulan Star Empire" Jaaron said, "I request asylum within the Federation."

Picard frowned. He had not been expecting this. "May I know the reason why?"

"It is your right to know, Captain" Jaaron said gravely. "I am the nephew of the Praetor and as such I will always be a target for the power hungry, those who want my friendship for their own ends, and those who see me as a threat and would prefer me dead." He paused for a moment, thinking about what he was trying to explain, then he continued "The last few days have made me value my freedom. I cannot live locked up in a box, Captain. Only here in the Federation can I ever truly be free."

Picard nodded, understanding the Romulan's sentiments. "And your officers?"

"They must make their own decisions" Jaaron said, "But I believe they will choose to return to their homes. Both have family on the homeworld."

"Have you thought about what you will do?" the captain asked.

Jaaron shrugged. "I am a starship commander" he said, "Maybe there will be a place for me on a ship somewhere. If not… I don't' know. Maybe work until I can afford to buy a small ship of my own."

"We are not so different, you and I" Picard said thoughtfully, "I hope things work out for you."

A message was sent to the Romulan Empire on a code provided by Jaaron, stating that the Enterprise had two Romulans on board to be returned to their homes and requesting that a ship meet them in the Neutral Zone so a transfer could be made. The answer came back a little later. A Warbird had been dispatched and would rendezvous with the Enterprise in six hours.

When the Warbird decloaked in front of the Enterprise Jaaron walked to the transporter room with his two officers. He pressed a letter into the hands of the more senior of the two, asking him to get it to the Praetor and then said, "As for everyone else, it is best if they think I died with Tarndorr."

Both officers glanced at each other for a moment, then together they gave the Romulan salute. Jaaron returned it and then stood watching as the last of his crew were beamed away.


	11. Chapter 11

Some days later the Enterprise docked at the spaceport in orbit above San Francisco, Earth. A lot of officials and bureaucrats would want to talk to the remaining Romulan. After all, it was often they gained such a highly ranked defector.

S'ian meanwhile was making his own plans. He had tried to explain to Diana but it had proved impossible, the words simply drying up in his mouth, words that would remain unspoken because he could not accept their truth. He knew he had to tell her the truth, but he simply could not. And so, he waited with a heavy heart for her decision, knowing all the time what it would be. He knew her better than she knew herself, he already knew that she would choose the Romulan. As Diana sensed his withdrawal, her decision became easier and she knew what she must do. And within an hour of her decision, before she even had a chance to speak to him, he had resigned from the Enterprise's crew and was on a transport ship back to Vulcan. Once there he would go directly to MountSeleya. Diana's presence was not actually necessary for the bond breaking ceremony although it was preferred that both parties attend. It was something he could do alone.

Picard had been speaking to the senior admiral about Jaaron's future and after some argument, the admiral eventually agreed to allow the Romulan to serve on the Enterprise as a junior officer on a temporary basis. "He maybe a captain in Romulan terms but he can start from the bottom like everyone else – maybe for a period of a month or two, to see how he settles down."

Picard sent for Jaaron again and told him the news, offering him a position as helmsman with the honorary rank of lieutenant junior grade.

Jaaron stared at the captain in total surprise. "I did not expect such an offer" he said quietly, "You have been more than generous. Thank you Captain, I accept your offer." The Romulan laughed suddenly and at Picard's look of enquiry, said, "I was just wondering , sir, what the Praetor would say if he knew his nephew was now a Starfleet officer."

Picard laughed, enjoying the joke. Then, sobering, he said "Welcome aboard Lieutenant Jaaron."

I had to admit, I was surprised when Diana told me of her decision and of Jaaron's becoming part of the Enterprise's crew. I knew that Krang did not approve, my husband hated the Romulans and found it difficult to accept the idea of one being a fellow crew member although he was too good at his job to allow his feelings to show.

But it was obvious that Diana was not totally happy. A shadow crossed her face as she spoke of S'ian – he had just left without saying a word, although she knew he was all right. The bond was still there in her mind, allowing her to sense him if she wished. It was very faint now, indicating that he was very far away and she was trying hard to block out what remained.

Almost a week later, as we were sitting together in Ten Forward, Diana suddenly cried out, the glass in her hand slipping from nerveless fingers, as with a cry of pain that was both physical and mental, her bond to S'ian snapped, leaving in its place a cold aching emptiness. I knew at once what had happened, had in fact been expecting it to happen at any time in the last week. I stood and moved around the table to her side, putting a hand on her shoulder as she sat hunched up in her chair.

"Come on" I said gently, "Let's go."

She nodded, but as we walked down the corridor together, towards the turbolift, she turned to me, saying, "It was my decision to leave him. So why does it hurt so much?"

I didn't answer, knowing she would not want to hear the truth – that her love for S'ian was real. Although I had come to respect the Romulan, I felt that Diana had made a mistake. But it had to be her choice. I could say nothing. I knew from personal experience how hard such a decision cold be. A similar situation had once driven me to attempt suicide although luckily I had been found in time.

As the days slipped by, Diana once again became her usual cheerful self, although sometimes her dreams were disturbed. But she refused to tell Jaaron just what was causing her to awake screaming in the night.

As I continued my research in the laboratory I had once shared with S'ian I found that I missed the Vulcan. We had worked well together and the lab seemed quiet and empty without him. I worked alone now, I was experienced enough not to need a supervisor. I was aware though, that I was not the only one who missed him.

Diana was happy and having fun with Jaaron, but the sense of loss, of something missing remained although she was hardly aware of it .


	12. Chapter 12

On the Plains of Gol, deep in the heart of the Vulcan desert, S'ian struggled to reach _Kolinahr, _the state of total non-emotion. He never wanted to feel anything again, it caused too much pain. But deep down within himself he knew his desire was a lie, as his whole being, his existence was a lie. At night his sleep was troubled. In his dreams he could see only a petite dark eyed human with small bluish antennae and hear her voice saying "…and anyway, you know how I feel about you."

On wakening he would reach for her only to remember that she was in the arms of another and to feel the emptiness in his mind where their bond had been. He spent his days trying to meditate, to purge away these no longer wanted emotions, but each time he was unsuccessful.

Jaaron came to admire the Federation more and more as he served on board the Enterprise, and he saw totally different races living peacefully side by side, yet everybody equal. But he became restless, aware that his own people were still living as little more than slaves, and he saw the basic injustices and began to fret about them.

Things began to change between him and Diana in an indefinable way and their relationship began to suffer. They had been together only a month when they both realised they had to talk seriously. He was aware that despite appearances, she was not really happy. She loved the Vulcan and he had always known that, but in the meantime, until she discovered that on her own, he would be there for her.

"I think that you have at last made your decision" Jaaron said to her gently, seeing that finally the time had come for their parting.

She nodded. "Yes. I do love you Jaaron, but…"

"But S'ian is the one you want to spend your life with. Our love is genuine Diana, but it is a different type of love, not like the love you share with S'ian." He paused, taking a deep breath. "It is time for me to return to Romulus."

Diana smiled a little. "You understand me so well. Will we stay friends?"

"Yes" Jaaron said, "We will always be friends, and something more – what in the Betazoid language, I believe is termed _imzadi_. No-one can take that from us."

Suddenly the import of his earlier words hit her. "Jaaron, you can't go home! They'll kill you. It's not safe!"

"I will go underground" Jaaron said calmly. "There are people working towards the reunification of Vulcan and Romulus. I will join them. My people need me Diana. I cannot remain here neglecting my duty."

She reached out and caressed his face. "I'll never forget you." She turned then and moved towards the door, but his voice called her back. "What will you do Diana? Will you go to him?"

"I don't know yet" she said, thinking about the question. "I don't think he'll want to see me."

"Have courage Diana" the Romulan said seriously. "Go to him. You and S'ian belong together."

When Jaaron finally left the Enterprise he was surprised to find several of the senior officers waiting for him in the transporter room.

Picard said simply "Goodbye Jaaron. In you lies the hope for peace between our peoples. Good luck."

Worf, who had spent his whole life hating Romulans, was also present, standing next to my husband. "I too wish you luck" he said gruffly, "May it be a good fight."

Jaaron nodded and said "I thank you. One day the Romulan Empire will be ready to join you – when we are worthy of the honour." With that he looked directly into Worf's eyes, saying "_Qapla'!"_ And indicating that he was ready, he stepped up onto the transporter pad.

A few days later a coded message came in for Diana from the Romulan Empire. It was from Jaaron. He had reached his homeworld safely and had made contact with the underground movement. His communication was full of admiration for Spock, the founder of the movement and he was excited about the future. Diana's heart lightened as she knew that at last, Jaaron was where he belonged.

Now she had to make plans to find S'ian. She went to Captain Picard and requested leave. Since she had several months worth of leave accumulated from her previous service, she easily obtained permission. As I helped her to pack some of her things for the journey, I said, "Do you really plan to do this alone?"

Her answer was simple. "I got myself into this mess and I have to get out of it on my own. I don't pretend it will be easy but I cannot ask anyone to come with me."

I looked at her thoughtfully, "Maybe you don't need to ask…"

When she asked me sharply what I meant by that, I didn't answer, just shrugged and changed the subject. But she wouldn't let it go and finally I said, "I'm coming with you."

That evening, once the children were in bed, I told my husband what I planned to do. As I had anticipated, he was not at all happy about it. He hated my being away from his protection, but I knew him well enough to change his mind.

"Krang-oy" I said softly, looking up into my husband's dark eyes, "I have to do this, my own personal honour demands it."

The Klingon sighed, giving in. Honour was something he understood. "Very well, I will allow it."

I smiled, not disillusioning him, allowing him to think that it had been his choice. I had learned a long time ago how to handle my Klingon husband.

Since I now had a shuttle license, having passed the test some time months ago, and Diana had obtained hers several years ago, Captain Picard allowed us to take the smallest of the Enterprise's shuttles, the Hercules.

My husband accompanied me to the shuttle bay and said goodbye to me there. "I will take good care of the children" he promised gruffly. "Return soon."

I reached up to kiss him, not caring who might be watching, saying "_Qapla'_ my husband, _maj dok_" and then I took my place on the shuttlecraft where Diana waited for me."

As the shuttle bay doors opened and Diana guided the little craft out into space, she turned to me and said quietly, "Thanks for coming."

I didn't answer. No answer was necessary, and together we got on with the job of piloting the Hercules towards Vulcan. It was a long journey and we had to stop twice en route to refuel, but eventually our little vessel came in to land at its final destination.

It didn't take long to discover S'ian's whereabouts and Diana prepared herself to face him again. I would not go with her. My part in the journey was over, my role had been to keep her company, to distract her and prevent her worrying during the long trip. Now I could only wait. Wait and hope.


	13. Chapter 13

As Diana approached S'ian she began to become aware of his presence in her mind. How could this be possible, she wondered, the bond between them was broken. But she could not deny the truth of what was happening and as the Vulcan looked up to see her coming, it was obvious that he felt it too.

S'ian gazed at her, drinking in her presence and the familiar feel of her in his mind, not sure if his weeks of meditation and fasting had resulted in a hallucination. But as he began to realise that she was real, he wondered what she wanted. Had she come here to torment him? But he rejected that idea at once, Diana was not vindictive. What then was the reason? He could only wait for her to tell him. Slowly he got to his feet and approached her. "Why are you here?"

Diana did not answer for a moment, she was not sure if she had the courage to speak. Then she said, "S'ian, I was wrong. I have caused you much pain. Can you forgive me?"

"We were both at fault" the Vulcan answered, still not understanding, "I kept secrets from you, withdrew from you. how could I trust you when I could not trust myself? What happened was only an excuse to hide the truth, a truth I am only now learning to accept."

It was Diana's turn to be confused. She had no idea what he was talking about. Seeing this the Vulcan extended a hand towards her face. "Will you trust me?"

Nodding, hardly daring to breathe, she remained still as those strong lean fingers touched her, drawing her into mindmeld as he finally allowed those deeply buried memories to surface:

S'ian had been born almost a year after the Genesis Incident. Saavik, his half Vulcan, half Romulan mother had mated with the newly regenerated, confused and frightened youth who had once been Spock as he entered _Pon Farr_ on that doomed, dying planet. Later, Saavik, herself only just out of StarfleetAcademy, had discovered she was pregnant and returned to Vulcan to have the child. She had never told Spock and the child, a mixture of Vulcan, Human and Romulan, had never known his father.

As he grew older his Romulan temper had become more and more difficult to control. His mother did her best but the boy was wild and uncontrollable. The other boys were afraid of him and for the most part, left him alone. His only friend had been a younger child, a girl named T'par.

But one tragic afternoon, Saavik was forced to admit that she could no longer cope alone and finally contacted Spock, telling him everything, including the fact that he was the boy's father. Immediately Spock requested leave and returned to Vulcan. As he stood before the ten year old boy who was his son, Spock remembered a time when Saavik, herself a child had stood in front of him screaming out her hate for the world. But the boy, S'ian, was not screaming. He was silent, totally withdrawn into himself, unaware of Spock's presence, unable to draw his mind away from the terrible thing he had done.

Saavik, her hard won control slipping away as she watched Spock with her son, began to tell him, her one time mentor, friend and then lover, what had happened. The other boys, cruel as only Vulcan children could be, had gathered together, tormenting the boy, finding enough courage in a group to tackle him. The little girl T'par, as always stood loyally at the side of her hero and as Serrar, the oldest boy at almost fifteen had made a particularly nasty remark, she had flown at him, pummelling him with her little fists and yelling at him to leave S'ian alone. Serrar simply knocked the little girl aside and S'ian's Romulan temper had over-boiled. No-one would hurt T'par and get away with it! He had grabbed the older boy by the throat and began to throttle him. Alarmed now, the other boys tried to pull him off Serrar, but S'ian had the strength of the insane and they were unable to do anything as S'ian kept squeezing, tighter and tighter until finally, the other boy's neck snapped with a sickening crack and he felt Serrar die in his hands. Horrified, stunned he let go and stood there staring, never feeling the blows the other children rained on him. He was aware only of the horror of what he had done. A touch telepath like all Vulcans, he had taken a life with his bare hands and his entire being reverberated with the death of the other boy…

The adult S'ian, locked in mindmeld with his mate, shuddered violently but forced himself to keep remembering:

His parents, shocked and horrified, knowing their son was in desperate need of help to heal his damaged mind, had left Vulcan, taking him to Gamma Eri, a research station where the best Vulcan doctors would attempt to help the boy recover his sanity. They knew it was his only hope of ever leading a normal life.

The child, ten years old, frightened and confused, had gone almost completely insane. But with the aid of the doctors and the unconditional support of a little girl who even now, against her parents' orders, refused to abandon him and wrote him letters every week, S'ian slowly took the first steps on the long road to recovery.

Over the years he had finally begun to master his emotions, had finally begun to become a Vulcan. And he began to study, having lost years of his education. It became obvious that the young S'ian had a brilliant although sensitive mind. He had inherited his father's gift for science and his mother's insatiable curiosity. When at the age of twenty he was offered a place at the VulcanScienceAcademy, his recovery was complete. He was top of his class and as he stared unsmilingly at his parents who had come to attend his graduation ceremony, he knew that finally they were proud of their son.

Over the years, despite his mastery of the Vulcan philosophy, he had always had to struggle with his emotions. Every so often, the part of him that was Romulan would resurface and would spill over into anger before he could regain his Vulcan control.

On his emergence into Vulcan society he had been surprised to find out that his crime had been hushed up, passed off as a tragic accident and swallowed up into the privacy that was uniquely Vulcan. When many years later, T'par had come to him and begged for his help, he had been grateful to finally pay his debt to her. Grateful also to find that she had no idea what had happened that day. Serrar's casual blow had knocked her unconscious and she had awakened to find both Serrar and S'ian gone and had never known why, although somehow she had managed to get letters to him.

The story finally told, S'ian carefully broke the mindmeld and stood silently, waiting for Diana to condemn him. But in her eyes, he saw only love and understanding.

"I should never have left you" she said softly, "I never stopped loving you, S'ian."

So much had been explained. She knew now why he had been so withdrawn. How could he have opened up to her when he was so closed to himself, trying so hard to deny what he was? He had been forced into a mould that did not fit him and his young mind had snapped. He had regained his sanity, but at the expense of something that was uniquely S'ian. Trust was something he had only recently begun to learn.

Slowly Diana reached out and touched him and for long moments they stood together in silence, just looking at one another.

And then S'ian spoke. "You were right to leave me, Diana" he said quietly, "I was not ready, the time was not right. But I am glad you have come back." And then, silently, within their bond, he spoke the words she had never expected to hear. *I love you Diana.*

Filled with an emotion she was unable to name, wanting to laugh and cry at the same time, she repeated his words, *I love you S'ian.*

As they stood there, holding hands, the bond between them deepened, a bond that they both now realised had never totally broken, that was so strong that even the High Master of Gol had not completely destroyed it.

S'ian glanced around for a moment as though to check there was nobody else present. Then, taking a deep breath, he slowly said the words aloud. "Diana, I love you."

And finally, free at last to be simply S'ian, the Vulcan smiled.


	14. Chapter 14

S'ian returned to the Enterprise with us and soon things returned to normal. It was almost as if he had never been away. Then one day Captain Picard called a meeting of all his senior officers and he told them that he had just received disturbing news from Starfleet Command. One of their sources had sent a message stating that the Romulan Praetor had just died. The old Praetor had had a reputation for being a moderate. It was not known who his successor would be since there was no son to inherit. Would the new Praetor continue with the policies of the old or would he advocate war with the Federation? The Enterprise, along with several other ships, had been ordered to patrol the borders until they had further information.

Later the same afternoon Diana received a communication from Jaaron, deep within the heart of the Romulan Empire. She read it silently and then said, "I don't know whether this is his idea of a joke, but I think I'd better show this to the captain."

"What does it say?" S'ian asked her. He was no longer jealous of Jaaron but Diana's reaction to the letter intrigued him.

Slowly she stood up, reading the message again. "He says" she said, with a note of quiet amazement in her voice, "that he is now the Praetor of the Romulan Empire."

On the Romulan homeworld, the secret police, loyal only to the Praetor himself, had been watching the rebel named Jaaron. As soon as they had proof of his identity they quietly moved in and arrested him.

For the first time in years, Jaaron knew real fear. His newly learned logic told him that there would be no trial, that would be too public. Instead, there was a high probability that he would be interrogated by a mind-sifter and then quietly disappear, just one more casualty of the imperial death squads.

He was surprised and wary when, dragged out of his cell, he was brought before the Praetor, the man he had once called uncle. Even more surprisingly, the Praetor ordered the guards out of the room with a brusque wave of his hand. As the door shut behind them, the Praetor, an old man, now, spoke. "Well Jaaron, what have you to say for yourself this time?"

Jaaron remained silent. He was confused, he had not expected this.

The old man sighed. "Jaaron my boy, I have always known exactly where you were. I know of your service on the Enterprise, I know about Diana, and I know also of your work with the Vulcan Spock in the underground. I am proud of you."

Jaaron stared at his uncle in amazement. "Then why have I been arrested? Why am I here?"

"I wanted to talk to you" the Praetor said, "I have always hoped that one day there might be peace between us and the Federation, but the empire is not yet ready for that step. The senate is still too powerful. I have had to be very discreet, to be patient, but my time is running out Jaaron. I am very ill, I won't live much longer. You Jaaron, must continue what I have begun."

Jaaron nodded, "One day our people will be free. Until then I will continue to work with the underground."

"No Jaaron" the Praetor said sharply, shaking his head. "I have no son. You will continue your work as the next Praetor of the Romulan Star Empire. You are my heir."

That night the Praetor died quietly in his sleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Thirty Years Later**

After thirty years, much had changed in the Romulan Star Empire. It had been slow, hard and sometimes heartbreaking work, but one year ago Jaaron's greatest dream had at last come true. The Romulans had finally made peace with both the Federation and the Klingons and a treaty had been signed.

In the Federation, Admirals Jean Luc Picard and James Mackenzie had been instrumental in the new accord. And Worf, whose parents had so many years ago been murdered by the Romulans had also been one of those to sign it, his encounter with a Romulan named Jaaron, leading him to become a powerful supporter of the peace movement.

Thinking back over his life, Jaaron still found it hard to believe that finally his people had the freedom they deserved. So much had happened to prevent it – the massacre in the senate, the rise of Shinzon to power, the long struggle with the Remans and when that was finally over, the years of politicking and diplomacy, trying to change the hearts and minds of the ultra conservative upper class Romulans.

Jaaron knew that he had been incredibly lucky to survive the massacre. Had he not received an urgent message calling him away, he would have been in the great hall on that terrible day and would have died with the rest of the senate. As it was, he had been forced to go underground again and his work towards peace had been set back years.

Now, on the first anniversary of the historic occasion of the treaty, S'ian and Diana were the honoured guests of the Romulan Praetor. Only yesterday, , when Jaaron introduced them to his senior aides, S'ian had been surprised to realise that the Romulan standing by the Praetor's side, was in fact his father Spock. Jaaron too had been surprised as he realised that the two Vulcans knew each other. For long moments no-one spoke, then Spock turned to the Praetor, saying, "S'ian is my son."

Jaaron, sensing their need for privacy, at once dismissed the rest of his aides and then he too quietly left, leaving them alone to talk. Saavik, half Vulcan, half Romulan, was also present. She had once hated the Romulans but eventually the logic she had fought so hard to learn, told her that she should not try to deny what she was and she had joined Spock, helping his with his work towards reunification. It had been hard for her at first but with Spock's support she began to accept that the Romulans were just people, and people who needed help. Putting aside her old hatreds, she threw herself heart and soul into her work.

At first, the reunion of S'ian with his parents was a little tense, stilted – none of them knew what to say. It had been so long since they had been together. Spock and Saavik had not seen S'ian since his graduation day, he hadn't wanted to see them again. But they had kept track of their son without his knowledge. They had known of his marriage to T'par, of their daughter and T'par's death. They had been aware of their son's second marriage and his new family. And now, for the first time, they actually met the woman S'ian had married thirty years ago.

But that was yesterday. Today, the anniversary of the treaty, they were all gathered together for a wedding – the wedding of Jaaron's youngest daughter to the oldest son of S'ian and Diana.

Jaaron watched his new son-in-law, a young man who seemed to embody the unification of Federation and Empire, in whom ran the blood of the Humans, the Vulcans, Betazoids, Andorians - and Romulans.

Diana could not help feeling that history had come full circle as she too watched her son, Saaron, talking to the Praetor, arm in arm with his new bride. S'ian, sensing his wife's emotions, put an arm around her and quietly said aloud for only the second time in his life, "Diana, I love you."

Jaaron, who had excused himself from the happy couple to come to speak to them, heard the Vulcan's quiet words. For a moment the two men stared at each other and then slowly, deliberately, the Vulcan reached out, clasped the Romulan on the shoulder – and smiled.

The End.


End file.
